Fight the Good Fight

11207374_894003224006424_4189638742738548596_n

Gonna get real for a minute. Someone posted this [pic] on the Team 383 group page, and it struck my center. I am fighting some unexpected pain this a.m., so was already on the “down” side – and I FEEL this pic. I posted this comment on the pic where originally posted:

The “core” issue for me has always been one of this voice SCREAMING in my head that I’m a failure, I’m undesirable, “death would be preferable” .. This voice comes back even now – I’ve lost 156 lbs! But this voice wants me to gain it all back, go back to what I WAS without regard for everything I now am and everything I’m FIGHTING to become. Being able to SEE this voice for what it is – EVIL – is the first step towards being able to call it out, speak to it, call it a LIAR, and take the reins again. How I WISH the “temptation” would go away, never to return!! <3

How I need the FRESH mercy and grace of God EVERY morning. <3


Some practical steps (in no particular order) to get me “back to right thinking” —

  • Intentionally SMILE (my “resting” face can tend to look mad).
  • Along with that, intentionally being “cheerful” when greeting another person (my temptation is to “push people away” until I can get a handle on myself).
  • PRAY
  • Remind myself of my blessings (literally count them!) AND my progress.
  • Practice being thankful for SPECIFIC things, no matter how small.
  • Identify the lies as lies, preach the truth to myself, speaking w/authority of Jesus OVER the lies.
  • Treat any physical pain to lessen stress load (or sleep! if deprived!).
  • Identify some LITTLE things I can accomplish in the next hour (hour by hour) – and DO them (sort laundry, drink 20 oz water, go for a walk, etc).
  • Watch a funny movie or clip – find ways to force myself to LAUGH (to take back control over my emotions).
  • GET UP! Move! (I have found that sitting or “lying down” with the negative patterns is a huge momentum killer – or worse – it drives me further in to listening to the bad thoughts/voices/feelings. Sometimes just simply physically GETTING UP can be just enough momentum to ignite my motivation to choose other, better steps.)
  • RECOGNIZE external signs of the internal attack/negative reality (too quick to “snap” at someone/something for no reason, taking something personally, tempted to swear, etc.) to catch it EARLY. It’s easier to kill a mosquito than a rattlesnake!
  • Listen to familiar/well-loved worship music (it’s not enuf to just “distract” myself, I need to “TURN” myself in a different direction).
  • Read a book/article/Scripture that is in keeping with my goals/new heart/mind.
  • Find someone to speak a word of encouragement into (calling up a friend doesn’t always work for me cuz it’s a temptation to wallow in the negative emotion or put too much value on “their good opinion” of me, but I DO need to get better about learning to ask for help, too! Even if it’s just to say to a trusted inner-circle friend/sister/brother – I am really struggling with THIS right now (and NAME the specific thoughts/feelings)….).

I am very sure I could list more, but this is a start. <3

Add comments with your ideas/suggestions?

Blessings!

~Leah

Conflict Need Not Be EPIC!

“My brothers, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry….”

I’ve been doing some self-examination on the topic of my history of being-quick-to-anger and my “adrenalin” response.  I have a pattern of difficulty in controlling my adrenalin levels – you can scroll back to see past posts about some of my health issues and a life of indulgence with food that led to serious obesity – both physically AND emotionally. .. OY VEY! .. :)  (Thank God for his transforming grace!)

These twitter updates come on the heels of some recent reflections which may or may not be related to recent real-life events.  ;)

  • Caught in a “he said/she said” type tango? Stay as focused 2observable FACTS as possible – it is appropriate 2include non-verbal BEHAVIORS.
  • Anger isnt intrinsically bad but yielding 2it is almost always unhelpful. We tend 2prefer 2feel powerful &use anger as a weapon 2manipulate.
  • Patterns of yielding 2anger produce a physiological “1st response” =habitually offensively defensive =VERY hard 2control adrenalin response.
  • Be quick 2listen slow 2speak &SLOW 2become angry, bcuz man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)
  • It takes great self-discipline to NOT presume another person’s motives/intentions/feelings when escalating in a confrontation. #justthefacts
  • Conflict is inevitable but it need not be EPIC. We’re all flawed! Stay aware of ur adrenalin response, seek 2CALM &QUIET urself in the fire.
  • A “falling out” doesnt hv 2break relationship irreparably. Be quick 2repent, quick 2forgive, care-FULL 2keep healthy boundaries w/right ppl.
  • Prayerfully discern the “safe” ppl in ur world. ALWAYS hv grace &speak TRUTH in luv. Grace generously welcomes; Truth wisely guards ur heart.
  • It is possible 2b overly cautious w/ur boundaries. Don’t B afraid 2trust but DO be wise about the standards u use 2measure trust-WORTHINESS.
  • Jesus didn’t tell us merely not 2judge – Rather, that we’ll B judged by same MEASURE we use. We must be DILIGENT in “judging” ourselves 1st.
  • I was reminded recently: God says his judgment BEGINS w/his own people, HIS “house.” We must 1st examine ourSELVES, see that WE are faithful!

Blessings!

~Leah <3

For the Godly Wife Renewing Her Mind

Some of my recent twitter captures for the Godly Wife who seeks to be renewed by the transforming of her mind:

  • Read today: “I luv my husbands sex drive bcuz its my chance 2communicate 2him [like no1 else] hes safe w/me, hes luvd &hes highly cherishd.”
  • Read today: “Its a blessing cuz it drives him 2me..binds us 2gether..reminds me of a need in his life..I alone am uniquely..2honor&satisfy.”
  • “Men,much more than women, relate 2a partner thru sex..as evidenced by their fear of rejection, concerns about performance &desire 2please.”
  • Read today: 4men, sex is their primary way of communicatng &expressing intimacy..Taking away sex takes away their primary emotional outlet.
  • Read today: “Increasingly,experts believ sex is a MORE emotional experienc 4men than 4women.Men tend 2express feelings w/actions,not words.”
  • Read today: Humbly sow forgiveness &grace..it takes humility 2b a willing &swift repenter..&2offer forgiveness after being wronged.
  • Read today: “..? of how often shd we hv sex? is not primarily about the physical..as about how much emotional connection do u want 2foster?”
  • Read today: “This recovering-prude..southern church girl is learning..that sex..opens door 4deeper level of emotional &spiritual intimacy.”
  • Read today: “Sex opens up the HEARTS of our husbands like nothing else can..Its where we connect on a level reserved only 4husband &wife.”
  • Read today: “Learn from variety of other’s experiences; books can sav ur marriage years of heartbreak..we need 2b consistently pro-active.”
  • “ppl are better able 2sustain desire when they R motivated 2meet their partner’s sexual needs, even when conflict w/their own preferences.”
  • [when] he gets depressd cuz hes not being touchd, its like little boy who stands in crib&cries 2b pickd up..hes experiencing emotional deprivation.

******

  • [wife renewing her mind] We let stress drive toward intimacy rather than destroy it.Approach things that normally divide w/unity&connection.
  • [wife renewing her mind] God designd sex 2b like a sacrament..practical gift 2bless,unify &bind marriages 2gether..steward a great sex life!
  • [wife renewing her mind] We hv hard time talking about sex; it hits on..our deep issues of insecurity..But truth is we don’t hv 2stay stuck.
  • [wife renewing her mind] What if I learned 2speak his language of affection &started 2fill his love tank up 2point all he can say is “WOW”!?
  • [wife renewing her mind] What if 4/month, I AIMED 2win my husbands affections w/intentional acts of love, tenderness, spontaneity, &care?
  • [wife renewing her mind] What if I decided that everyday 4month, Id seduce my husband? Pure commitment 2loving him by being a generous wife?
  • [wife renewing her mind] My body=a holy,pure,beautiful gift! I’ll B generous w/it &take every opportunty 2build emotional/physical closeness
  • [wife renewing her mind] Sex=blessing,GOD’s idea/gift! designd 2b amazing &effort taken 2b available=WORTH reward of intimacy w/my husband!
  • [wife renewing her mind] Marriage commitment calls us 2actually luv by actions regardless of feelings.&Good news is feelings usually follow!
  • Mr: Remember 2b tender towards wife. Mrs: LOVE his sex drive! Both: Be ready 2hv sex 1st, THEN talk about stressor from place of connection
  • “Actions of love LEAD to feelings of love.” – Timothy Keller @timkellernyc
  • “The more I study sexuality from a biblical worldview, the more my heart stands in..awe &worship of our good &loving God.” ~Francie Winslow

*Special recognition to Francie Winslow for her blog at http://franciewinslow.com/ for MOST of these little gems – I just rephrased to fit in the space allowed by a twitter post.  <3

Blessings!

~Leah

The Boy Who Loved a Horse

A good reminder heard this a.m. via the Zig Ziglar vault (which dove-tails nicely w/a sermon from The Point Church I downloaded this past weekend regarding “making room” in your life for God’s prophetic purpose, also! click HERE for a good listen):

Do what you can with what you have –

The story was about a boy who loved and wished and prayed for a particular horse.

His dad began taking him out for work projects – every weekend, paying a little bit of cash for this tool, or that tool, a little mixing cement, etc.

As they began to build, weekend after weekend, neighbors would come by and offer help in the form of borrowed tools, or time and sweat in the project.

Eventually, a small barn by now completed, the boy came home to meet the very horse he’d loved and wished and prayed for.

Patience, perseverance, one step at a time – you can’t do it all at once, but do what you can with what you have, prayerfully keeping your end goal in sight, and God often sends things along your way to multiply your efforts!

Be blessed!

~Leah

Twitter updates Reflecting on/Reflective of True Transformation

If u hv a quick RAGE response, practice a 1st response of a simple opposite .. Smile, laugh, or immediately speak “PEACE!” .. Calm ur heart!

Watching a favorite comedy is good medicine.

When some1 u luv is struggling w/ , BE w/them, acknowledge any truth in their grief, speak realistic HOPE, encourage them 2laugh.

It is no virtue 2always acquiesce 2what u think another person wants from u. This is evidence u may be a ppl pleaser w/o healthy boundaries.

A decision in the moment 2yield ur own wants 4another’s may FEEL selfless; but it is UNLOVING if u “blame” them as if they’re manipulating.

Trying 2guess what will please ur spouse can be a loving way 2GIVE but not if u attach expectation&make their lack of gratitude THEIR fault.

If ur spouse feels blamed 4ur decisions u may be trying 2hard 2please &not owning ur own decisions. Learn 2speak in the NOW. Hv ur own mind.

Having ur own mind &owning ur own decisions (not only doing what u THINK the other person wants) means: ASK more ?’s &being willing2say NO.

2say what u want, u hv 2KNOW what u want. If u don’t know ur own heart, u can’t “get mad” if the other person guesses incorrectly! Hv MERCY.

Why are u “embarrassed”? Self-conscious? Could it be ur trying2hard 2be something ur not? How can u fault the other person 4ur dishonesty?

Do u feel like ur being blamed? Do u feel u always ruin things? Examine ur harsh thinking. Maybe ur more “fake” 4their sake than u realize.

U make a decision 2act this or that way 2avoid being “rude.” If the other doesn’t know better, how can u blame them 4not seeing ur façade?

If u luv someone enuf 2bend 2their “unawareness”, why UN-luv them later w/a sour disposition? They didn’t ruin ur time, ur expectations did!

Often wives become overconfident in their intuition. Learn2say exactly what u mean! U don’t realize how often u injure by misinterpreting.

U loved him enuf 2marry him. Trust him enuf 2hear ur real thoughts/feelings. Even if all u can muster is “I don’t know why I feel this way!”

Do u often feel tempted 2say “Can’t u see that I’m […]?!” U may hv just identified an unreasonable expectation ur imposing. Look 2urself.

U wish u had more time together? .. oh dear, don’t squander what precious little time u DO have being angry and defensive!

*************

Ppl tend 2access memories that disable rather than enable them. Train urself 2dwell on positive memories = Empowerment.

Don’t give the Holy Spirit “credit” – as if HE’S holding u back – when the issue is ur OWN emotional resistance 2change.

It’s going 2take patience. Permanent change doesnt happen overnight. Re-assess; fix any problem steps &keep moving forward!

Interrupt ur autopilot! Turn self-defeating actions to self-enhancing ones by encouraging urself. Celebrate smal victories!

Small actions are each like a stair step that gets u 2the goal. Be faithful in them.

Actions BUILD upon each other. When u repeat the right behavior, u start 2imprint change into ur body &mind.

1Know what u want.2Position urself toward ur goal.3Choose wisely everyday.4Surround urself w/encouragemnt.5Wait&reevaluate.

Ask urself: What do u want? &then look deep into ur heart &see if true. If yes, u need 2claim it. Decide ur going 2get it.

“The actions you take must be harmonious with the outcome you desire.”

U must EXERCISE ur power of choice. If u don’t CHOOSE 2change, u may be forced by external pressures that come upon u.

$ doesn’t just drop out of the sky. Love won’t get healthy w/o work. U must TAKE necessary steps 2MAKE change in ur life.

We should be determined 2make positive changes in our lives BEFORE we arrive at the point where change is most difficult!

Poor Alternatives: After years of abusing R bodies physically we MUST change or face negatv consequences of sickness/death.

Sometimes its GOOD 2finally say, “I’ve had enuf! I refuse 2allow the world 2squeeze me anymore. Things are going 2change!”

Every time you experience a crisis, you can either let it destroy you or use it as an opportunity for personal growth.

We resist bcuz we fear loss, but when pain of staying same = greater than pain of change we let go of familiar&embrace new.

Usually people change for 1 of 2 reasons—2move away from pain or 2move toward gain…Away from punishment &toward reward.

Identify the emotions w/which u struggle &develop a strategy 2overcome them. Change ur life by changing ur MIND.

Emotions were given 2u by God! They can empower or paralyze. Develop a pattern of responding CORRECTLY 2negative emotions.

While u shouldnt magnify ur emotions, u shouldnt deny them either. Denying = taking no positive action 2change it!

When negative emotions come into our lives, we tend to magnify them instead of seeing them for what they are.

Always size ur situations up realistically/rationally. Ask urself the right ?s like What will it matter 200 years from now?

Is this really how it is? Or am I blowing it out of proportion? Try ur best 2detach from emotion itself 2C it objectively.

Let God speak 2u about it, put things in perspective! There may B things ur not seeing realistically or judging rationally.

It takes a lot of self control to begin making the transition from negative to positive. What helps you stay positive?

What can I learn from experiencing this negative emotion? What is this revealing 2me about me? What beliefs need 2change?

Asking the right questions will change your focus and help you identify your negative beliefs.

Positive emotions empower 2positive action, &reverse is also true. Want 2FEEL romantic w/spouse again? ACT romantic &PRAY!

Change ur focus or change ur actions. Ask the Holy Spirit 2give u a positive image that will replace that negative one.

Negative emotions almost always point to unhealthy and incorrect beliefs.

Use negative emotions as indicators not as captivators. Learn 2use negtv emotions 2identify wrong BELIEFS u suffer from.

There’s a reason why ur feeling afraid,angry,hurt..Emotions can help you identify areas in ur heart that need some change.

If ur suffering from fear, try to look beyond that emotion’s face value to identify the belief that’s causing ur fear..

What belief are you empowering? Negative emotions can also point to unhealthy behavior. Learn to observe your emotions….

Ask the Holy Spirit 2empower u w/positive emotions…The “fruit of the spirit”….They can be emotions or behaviors.

..Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Against such there is no law. Gal 5:22-23

Joy &Peace are emotions, but also actions. We express the fruit of the spirit inwardly as emotions & outwardly as actions.

Allow these 2strengthen&flow from u; u’ll B empowerd 2reach ur dreams,treat others w/compassion,see life in positive terms.

*************

Special thanks 4hosting today’s webinar w/. packed tons of content into a short hr!

For lack of VISION, the ppl perish. What’s ur VISION? What R the fears that choke out the good seeds of ur harvest?

1) DECIDE. You have a dream, you may fear stepping out, but you decide to bite the bullet and buy the motorcycle!

2) EDUCATION = CONFIDENCE. U may be nervous, but u sign up 4motorcycle bootcamp. Soon u ride like u were BORN 4this!

3) FOCUS IN DIRECTION U WANT 2GO. U wobble on ur turns cuz ur 2aware of mechanics. Focus fwd &the bike will follow!

4) DREAM BIG &TAKE OTHERS W/U. Step out, find ppl 2teach, create community around shared passion &find fulfillment!

Recognize law of cause &effect; HARNESS it 2change ur thinking & so change ur LIFE. Articulate & CHASE ur VISION.

We get offended 2easily, then meditate on it over &over, developing a sense of entitlement & “THEY OWE ME!” mindset.

The key 2CLARITY, 2keeping ur HOPE realistic, 2blocking ur time, 2persevering: WRITE IT DOWN.

As a man believes in his heart, so is he. Whatever we sow, we also shall reap. Are u tending to weeds? or seeds?

Each 1 has entirely different construction in ur brain! Don’t compare. Focus on ur OWN calling 2incredible things!

RESOLVE to SHUT OUT all other voices &believe in urself no matter how u feel or what others may say. Tend ur garden.

Start where u ARE – find ways 2incorporate learning – waterproof speaker in shower, listen 2podcasts while driving.

Unforgiveness is like mixing poison for the person who hurt you and then drinking it yourself.

Taking “risks” actually stimulates neuron growth in ur brain. Success breeds more success!

Ur subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between dreaming/reality. DREAM BIG! BELIEVE = TRANSFORM ur mind.

Cause & Effect is a universal law. Use “cause & effect” 2change ur brain/physiology. Change ur mind, change ur life!

Ur brainwaves are highest in 1st 20 minutes of ur day. What u do in 1st 20 min can change ur course 4rest of ur day.

Fear wreaks havoc on executive center of brain. Adrenalin+Cortisol R gr8 in battlefield, but paralyze at work/home.

WRITE UR PLAN, Schedul it,Envision&Believ it’ll happen,Speak it consistently,Evalu8,Write improvmnts,Reward urself. Repeat!

*************

what a beautiful mess we humans can be <3

Ur not a “product” of what has happened 2u. Ur a FRUIT of what God has done 4 & is doing IN u, & He is PATIENT thru all seasons!

Relationships OFTEN reach painful impasse ovr core values. Our paths may diverge as we nvr expected; BUT lets B grateful 4the season we HAD.

The younger we are the less we realize the seasonal nature of friendships. But when we look back, we can be grateful 4shared grace AND loss.

Read today: “Time’s this chameleon that disguises itself as slow &then fast &who’s got any clue as how 2understand the strangeness of Time?”

Read today: “God never has an objection to saying Yes to us — unless a No is His best protection of us.”

Guard quiet time,Keep healthy boundaries,PRAY,Make physical health a priority,FINISH the important & QUIT ur time-wasters,Give generously!

A “stress free” life is an ILLUSION. Maximizing ur effectiveness in exerting influence OVER ur life. You CAN make better decisions!

Anger tends 2stem from feeling violated in a feeling of “entitlement” (I hv a RIGHT 2not hv my time wasted!) Examine urself: What’s the ROOT

2easy 2get caught up believing partial truths (2much 2do, 2 little time!) = LIES (I can’t do this!). Preach TRUTH 2urself, 1 thing @ a time!

Time 2concentrate on changing my PERSPECTIVE (again). Life isn’t happening TO me, I need 2MAKE things happen. Calm, focused INTENTIONALITY.

REST is not a “waste of time” .. it takes HUMILITY 2slow down, re-assess, self-counsel, formulate a plan &follow it. I need 2GUARD my sleep!

Carrying the “2do” list in ur head = dealing w/increasing complexities of life MORE difficult. Have PATIENCE 2write things OUT &plan AHEAD!

Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards; 4our vineyard is in bloom [vines have tender/vulnerable grapes]. SofS 2:15

Am reminded again: is DOING not merely “feeling” .. It’s not enuf 2WANT 2love well. Be alert 2LIES u believe; BEHAVIOR must change.

If ur more concernd w/ur feelings than ur mate’s, it’s a surefire way 2derail Trust; ur 2lost in ur wants/needs/insecurities 2b loving 2him.

Time 2do MY “due diligence” – trim my emotional sails &even my keel, steady as she goes. Caring 4ME is best way 2b stable &love him WELL.

Plant GOOD seeds &a GOOD harvest will be the natural (&reasonably expected) RESULT!

2many “follows”/”newsfeed” updates = CLUTTER, &the cluttered life is not a happy/grace-filled one. Learn 2WISELY unplug from the unnecessary.

“A soft answer turns away wrath” isn’t just true in how we handle conflict w/others. I need 2learn 2employ this INTERNALLY w/myself, too.

Was told this a.m. I need 2learn 2compartmentalize my thinking (2steer away from stress). I think therez a KEY here 2live calm/focused life.

As a man THINKS in his HEART, so IS he! .. change your thoughts, change your brain, change your behaviors, change your LIFE! <3

Authentic humility is NOT mere self-deprecation. It’s trademarkd by joyful aspiration, unafraid to “fail” cuz it doesnt EXPECT life 2b easy.

Being a Lifelong Learner is great – but requires something far more valuable than a thirst 4knowledge .. I must 1st be HUMBLE.

Be led by PEACE, not by FEAR. <3

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.” Ps.19:14

God’s design 4this world gives us a significant parable .. sowing seed &reaping a harvest. And we SOW what we SAY! Prov. 18:20-21

God’s design for our bodies is MIRACULOUS .. we were designed to HEAL!!

‘Prayer is not appointed for the furnishing of God with the knowledge of what we need, but..a confession to Him of our sense of need.’ -Pink

“We must all suffer 1of2 pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret…discipline weighs ounces [but] regret weighs tons.” ~Jim Rohn

Father2the fatherless Defender of widows;God whose dwelling is holy.He places the lonely in families&sets the prisoners free&gives them joy.

Ur kids ask something that trips u up? Take TIME 2consider how 2reply w/o shame &w/o fear, &don’t gv a 5 lb answer when a 2 oz one will do.

It’s as SIMPLE as “natural consequences” .. as simple as sowing, &reaping what we sow. GOD help me SOW GOOD SEED &trust YOU 4the harvest!

Grace will destroy the delusion of your own righteousness, then point you to the reality of your new righteousness in Christ. [Paul David Tripp]

Sometimes God has to remind you that you’re weak so that you can be set free from your “self-sufficiency.” [Tullian Tchividjian]

“The slender capacity of man’s heart cannot comprehend the unfathomable depth and burning zeal of God’s love toward us.” Martin Luther

Be sober &alert,the days R evil. Yet know God also works ALL things 2gether 4good of all who luv him &R cald according 2his purpose. Rom8:28

Though we are all weak, ordinary people, His grace is sufficient to motivate us to remain faithful. [Mike Bickle]

What we say with our mouth is dynamically connected with the measure of faith that grows in our heart. (Mk. 11:23) [Mike Bickle]

You may not like “who” is saying it, but that doesn’t make them wrong.

You may LOVE “who” is saying it, but that doesn’t make them right.

Godly is not passive; it allows 2hv its full effect so that we may be mature&complete, lacking nothing.

Blessings!

~Leah

Old Me Thinking vs. New Me Thinking

My confession, my declaration:

I have spent many years of my life prophesying negative, even deadly things over my life .. abusing myself with insecurities and failings (most merely self-fulfilling prophecies) and hateful loathings, and most of which out of a desire to be holy, to be loved by God, or to be loved by others. Certainly this was not the sum of me, but it was my pattern, Old Me thinking. It has taken me the better part of the past two years to wake up to just how FAITH-LESS this was, how very OUT of the character of God ..

Yes, He desires – even demands! – our holiness. But not that we might become loveable. And not because perfection was EVER attainable. Instead, He speaks lovingly, persues relentlessly, and PROVIDES for our holiness HIMSELF in the perfect substitute – Jesus – SO THAT we, who are utterly imperfect ourselves, could survive and thrive in His presence, abiding with Him LOVINGLY and WORSHIPFULLY and with FULL realization of who he INTENDED us to be .. forever.

So I am resolved to speak now of myself as HE speaks, to see myself as His finished work because that is where I am GOING .. I must prophesy HIS promises over my own life .. not yield to the stealing, killing and destroying lies of the enemy .. even when I am that enemy.

I won’t go back to what I was.  New Me is here to stay!

Faith-FULL even in the little things .. even if I have to fight with myself to STAY there, because HE began a GOOD work in me, and even if I know nothing else, I know HE will be faithful to bring it to completion. So help me God, for better and for worse, I am His and He is mine!

Preach the TRUTH to yourself, REGULARLY!  <3

Be blessed!

~Leah

Transformation Tuesday

20150410_185557-1before circa 2012

My best “before and after” pics so far.

In the past two years, I have gone from 324 lbs and a size 26, down 155 lbs (100 lbs of this in a 120 day INTENSIVE window of time) to a BMI healthy weight of 169 lbs (so far) and a size 8.

I was at one point on 16 different prescriptions, including multiple inhalers, had chronic fatigue and pain issues, recurring pneumonia, sometimes serious digestive issues (I thought this was normal for everyone!), breathing and heart-racing issues, cyclical migraines, hormonal imbalances, systemic yeast infection, and bad skin issues, to say nothing of my depression and purposelessness –

I didn’t even know that my core belief was that I was not “worth” saving.

In spite of a 4 month window where I had to have spinal surgery, I have not gained back any of the 155 lbs I have so far lost, and I am HEALED of almost all my issues.

Now – NO pneumonia, NO remaining prescriptions, NO fatigue pain issues, my menstrual cycle has been 4 weeks regular for over a year (first time in my whole LIFE!) and only “normal” cramping (instead of the excessive, debilitating pain to which I had grown accustomed), and more than one medical professional has told me I have a heart “conditioned like a runner’s” .. and I have energy like never before, and clarity of thinking.

ALL because of GRACE.  ALL because we have a GOOD FATHER in God who gives generously to all who ask for wisdom, without finding fault. 

ALL because God gave me a vision of what he had MADE me to be.  ALL because He introduced me to my best friend who “just so happened” to be a fitness/nutritionist who faithfully encouraged me for YEARS beforehand to do the HARD thing, to be prepared to “pay in pain” because I didn’t get to my state overnight, a friend who would ultimately give me the tool I needed to succeed, and teach me to use it!  ALL because He led me to the godly woman who would also be my wellness coach to deal with all the mental/spiritual mess I was in that led to my morbid obesity in the first place.  ALL because He wanted to SET ME FREE from my mental and physical food addictions.  ALL because he wanted to strip away the WASTE I had made of my life, and make me NEW.  Again.  :)

He is GOOD.

~Leah

My bio ~ a work in progress <3

Leah Page graduated from Grand Valley State University with a Bachelor’s degree in Philosophy, and considers herself a forever-student at heart, especially of the Word of God. She has worked in various forms of professional Customer Service for over 16 years, from Mortgages and Banking to Automotive Plastics, and values most the opportunity to mediate and problem-solve. Leah is actively involved with the Assemblies of God Church in Baldwin, MI, and has served over the years, in varying roles, from Women’s Bible Study Leader to Choir Director to Worship Leading to teaching Sunday School to working faithfully in the Nursery. She loves being an Aunt and Sister and Daughter and Friend and Coworker, and loves to read just about anything she can put her hands on.
****
Over the past two years, Leah has been on a transformative journey.  Having spent her entire adult life morbidly obese, Leah found herself chronically ill with recurring pneumonia, complications from PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), chronic pain and fatigue, and eventually dependence on a cane just to walk up to her 2nd floor bedroom.  At one point, she was on 16 different prescriptions to try to manage her symptoms, and struggled with sometimes debilitating depression.  But God intervened, and caused her to see this was not HIS plan for her.  Through the constant encouragement of a dear friend who would later also take on the role of a personal trainer, Leah embraced a radical, rigorous plan that would enable her to finally lay hold of the vision of the woman GOD had made her to be.  Leah has, to date, lost 150 lbs since her starting point of 324 lbs, and has dropped from a size 26 to a size 8.  She is still a work in progress, but she has been able to wean off of ALL of her prescriptions, eats healthfully and has built regular visits to the gym into her lifestyle.  As she shed her excess weight, she found that she had to shed much more.  Her weight was not the root problem, but in fact a symptom of a greater issue, something she says only the LORD could heal.  Her testimony is ultimately one of discovering that God’s GRACE is enough.
****
~ I have provided the above for a couple of upcoming speaking events to talk about my recent transformation.  I will post again once I have had opportunity to synthesize my thoughts for these meetings, and offer a summary of what I mean by God’s GRACE is enough!  Your prayers are appreciated!  <3

ISIS, Christianity and thoughts I don’t want to think

Grace2Grow:

Sober and alert, for the days are evil .. God, let us not deceive ourselves!

Originally posted on Chrisicisms:

10994593_10153120717175909_3594205658016360574_n

On Sunday night, as Twitter and Facebook were reporting that 21 Egyptian Christians had been murdered by ISIS, I ignored them and watched the “Saturday Night Live” anniversary special.

On Monday, as the story gained more traction, I dutifully changed my Facebook profile to the number 21 in honor of the dead, and then went about the rest of my day before coming home to write a blog about my great spiritual sacrifice: not using my Smart Phone during Lent.

Tonight, I came home and wrote about the upcoming Oscars, my great contribution to the world being my ability to be witty when discussing what some have called the world’s glitziest employee-of-the-month ceremony. I wrote about “Selma,” “Boyhood” and “Birdman” as if they were cornerstones of our culture, and as if their performance at the Oscars would change the course of our society. Meanwhile, I’m distracting myself from thinking about…

View original 955 more words

Sober and Alert for the Days are Evil

Tweeted by Franklin Graham the other day: “I’ve learned on my trip human trafficking is not only sex and labor but children are sometimes sold so that their organs can be harvested.” *OMG*

feeling sick.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 27 other followers