Standing in the Need of GRACE

Amazing how this takes different forms.  Please note, I am by NO means any expert with respect to Narcissistic Abuse, nor epigenetic trauma (e.g. descendants of WWII Holocaust Survivors), generational “curses” – or fill in the blank.

I AM trying “in real time” to figure out how to interpret, understand, evaluate, resolve .. I am trying to offer GRACE and FORGIVENESS where possible, while also not continuing to subject me or my husband to ongoing abusive behaviors – At least insofar as I must do so for my own peace with God .. but the challenges that manifest continue to surprise.  Yes, new developments in the past couple weeks with my “FOO” –

It never stops.  😦

Just as you might think you’re putting certain aspects of the past LEGITIMATELY in the PAST .. leaving it behind .. life has a way of resurrecting things, bringing NEW offenses, and forcing you to re-evaluate your own convictions.  “Someone” is doing much of this “on purpose.”  .. And I do not necessarily mean the HOLY Spirit, but there is a “spirit” at work, here.  (How much, though, do I need to joyfully say with Job, that the Lord GIVES and the Lord TAKES AWAY, Blessed be the name of the Lord?)

I cannot elaborate – the players are too aware of this blog, and anything I say “can and will be used against” me if I spell this out too much.

For OUR purposes (mine, this blog’s, my husband’s, any similar sufferers’) – I am wrestling “out loud” so to speak, with HOW to evaluate all these things in a way that is faithfully consistent with God’s requirements on me, as far as his own standards of grace, forgiveness, justice, righteousness, holiness and LOVE.

Today, I can only offer the following:

PSALM 37

I intend to live HERE for the next several days.  And PRAY for God’s grace for both mercy and understanding – because I have NO desire to visit my personal drama/trauma on my marriage or my job, et al.

Please read the full chapter, consider (re)memorizing this with me?, and THANK God for his grace in ALL of life’s dealings, as we face new challenges every day.

(See also Philippians 4:4-8 and Ephesians 6:10-20.)

Weeping is momentary.  Emotions are “indicators” and worthy of evaluation (but they are meant to be “in MOTION” – and not a place to live/stay/percolate). My husband is committed to bearing my burdens WITH me – I do not have the “luxury” of “processing” by myself, anymore ..

Thank you, Lord, for your myriad graces in this life!  Please, now, offer wisdom as to whatever comes next.

~Love Moore ❤

 

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About Grace2Grow

Leah holds a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy, and considers herself a forever-student at heart, especially of the Word of God. The last few years have included a 160+ lbs weightloss, and a complete re-working of her "inner man" as she has had to journey from merely what she "knew" to putting that into "ACTION" .. a transformation that so rocked her core, she believes God's calling in her life includes a sense of "urgency," as the body of Christ is fully - knowingly or unknowingly - entrenched in These Last Days, just as Jesus prophesied. She has worked in various forms of professional Customer Service for nearly 20 years, from Mortgages and Banking to Automotive Plastics, and values most the opportunity to mediate and problem-solve. Leah has served over the years in varying roles, from Women's Bible Study Leader to Choir Director to Worship Leading to teaching Sunday School to working faithfully in the Nursery. She loves being a Wife and Aunt and Sister and Daughter and Friend, and loves to read just about anything she can put her hands on. She is always re-learning putting feet and muscle to these things, but she has learned there is incalculable value in "working the plan," and "being faithful with LITTLE so as to be entrusted with MUCH." And she is trusting her beloved God and Savior for the "much" yet to come. You can find more of her musings on her blogs at http://grace2grow.com and http://grace2grow.blogspot.com/, or follow her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/grace2grow

Posted on February 18, 2019, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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