Sowing Depression?

(originally posted on Facebook, 10/9/12)
just thinking out loud, here. so many of us love CHSpurgeon (the famed “preacher’s preacher”), but is it possible that he “sowed seed” that he reaped in depression (his famous lifelong struggle) by cultivating so profound an awareness of his (our) sinfulness and helplessness before God? in my own life, I experienced a magnification of my “depression” issues the more I dove into an understanding of “depravity” – it is no less TRUE, but the only remedy is to then fix my eyes more firmly on Christ, and the grace of God freely given. I find, more and more these days, that many of the quotes I used to love by Spurgeon are tainted with this flavor of “suffering because of sin,” when I am thinking to myself – how much of that would God wish to redeem us from, even here and now, if we would but grasp the fullness of his adopting, holy, Father-love towards us as his children because of Christ? less than this would be to suggest Christ’s sacrifice was insufficient to redeem and cleanse and make whole, would it not?
….how much better would CHS have had it if he’d trained his tongue and pen to “sow seed” ONLY to God’s goodness and grace – not to say he (we) should never speak of sin, but rather, that we must always see that sin in context – fully “under the blood.” (…truly, I mean no judgment or disrespect; I just recall once upon a time I had taken CHS’s famous struggle with depression as a kind of “permission” to continue to struggle with it myself, and now I realize that however beautifully I might speak of my down-troddenness, however much poetry I employ, the reality is that for me, it is almost always evidence of having had my gaze wrested from the grace of God in the face of Christ. and I do not mean to suggest there is no “physical” piece to this, as there often is…I just wonder, how often do we as Christians give ourselves permission to continue to sow such BAD seed, rather than the GOOD seed of (as has become popular to speak of, of late) “preaching the Gospel to ourselves” – by means of, for example, obediently thanking and rejoicing in all circumstances, and praising God who inhabits our praises??)
…as addendum to [above] “thinking out loud” :  consider the woman in Luke 7 – she has long been a part of my own testimony as I identify with her weeping at the feet of Jesus. I am realizing the time has come, in my own story, to recognize that Jesus didn’t LEAVE her in her weeping, but lifted her head, reminded her of forgiveness AND love, and empowered her to go on her way in holiness….
…reminds me of something [a gal from my church] once told me – that her mom had sown in her life – “You get one day to grieve, then you get up and keep going.” may not be exact, but the point is, my season for “grieving” has passed!!

About Grace2Grow

Leah holds a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy, and considers herself a forever-student at heart, especially of the Word of God. The last few years have included a 160+ lbs weightloss, and a complete re-working of her "inner man" as she has had to journey from merely what she "knew" to putting that into "ACTION" .. a transformation that so rocked her core, she believes God's calling in her life includes a sense of "urgency," as the body of Christ is fully - knowingly or unknowingly - entrenched in These Last Days, just as Jesus prophesied. She has worked in various forms of professional Customer Service for nearly 20 years, from Mortgages and Banking to Automotive Plastics, and values most the opportunity to mediate and problem-solve. Leah has served over the years in varying roles, from Women's Bible Study Leader to Choir Director to Worship Leading to teaching Sunday School to working faithfully in the Nursery. She loves being a Wife and Aunt and Sister and Daughter and Friend, and loves to read just about anything she can put her hands on. She is always re-learning putting feet and muscle to these things, but she has learned there is incalculable value in "working the plan," and "being faithful with LITTLE so as to be entrusted with MUCH." And she is trusting her beloved God and Savior for the "much" yet to come. You can find more of her musings on her blogs at and, or follow her on Twitter at

Posted on October 23, 2012, in Bible Study, Challenge and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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