Two Faced? ~ part 2

Not so much two-faced, rather more like broken-into-two-HALVES, I started this discussion concerning this kind of “imbalanced” maturity in my spirit, as if a zipper got jammed, and I can’t figure out how to untangle the teeth to get things back on track.

But I know there is revelation waiting for me, here.  So I’m recording some of my considerations for the reasons listed in my below post, and to paint a picture for myself of what, God willing, will be a remarkable transformation.  😉  This isn’t a “coming of age” story; perhaps it could be considered an “overcoming past abuses” story ~ I’ll ellaborate on this perhaps in a future entry; but it most definitely is a God-sanctifies-his-children or God-brings-the-broken-to-wholeness story.

And I think I’m in good company – The Apostle Paul refers to himself in different places in his letters as “Not-I-but-sin,” in one respect (Romans 7), and “Not-I-but-Christ” in another (Galatians 2:20-21).  So there is not a lot of surprise for ANY follower of Christ that we may have some measure of duality to our spirit this side of Glory.  BUT, then again, James writes to the new church that a “double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”  Easily tossed about. (James 1)  And Paul also uses this imagery of being tossed about, and connects it to childishness, and being easily deceived…. (Ephesians 4:11-16)


Like waves crashing up against an un-anchored, bobbing mass in the sea ~

An un-captained, un-manned, a dead-weight, a directionless, unstable, ineffective mass

Waiting only to be capsized and sunk, or washed up on some remote island shore. 

Washed up.  Used up.  Sunk. 


We even use these images to evoke similar meaning for people who are otherwise Undone.

And WHO would be satisfied by ending up like THAT?!  😉

So, I’m presented with a bit of a paradox ~ to achieve wholeness (is this the same thing as being singleminded? or of single purpose?), I must ask God for wisdom and “believe and not doubt,” (returning to James 1), which means I am in some manner coming from a place of singlemindedness even in the asking.


That’s all right ~ I’m asking according to His PROMISE, not a mixed motive.  I KNOW he wants to heal me (Jeremiah 17); I just don’t yet know HOW.  Or how long this will take.  Put another way?  My wholeness is hinged to HIS faithfulness, and therefore I have a confident expectation.

A hint of the remedy?  Also “hidden” in the above referenced passages:


Delighting in the law (Word) of God in my inner being, Christ IN me 

Gazing intently into the “perfect law that gives freedom” ~

and doing whatever HE says!

Doing my “part”, and building up his Body in love….


So I am confident we’ll see a measure of maturing as I noticeably continue to grow in love for God AND others, instead of operating from a position of such self-preservation, or self-defensiveness, or self-glorification (which all have at their root some measure of self-deception, and not seeing God as he really is ~ ie: some “idolatry” setting itself up over and above God in my heart).

Today?  I am asking God for this one thing:


“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after:

that I may  dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

to gaze upon  the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” (Psalm 27:4)


(Note, the whole of Psalm 27 may prove to be very much more relevant to this continuing reflection.  I think, perhaps, I should memorize this chapter….)


About Grace2Grow

Leah holds a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy, and considers herself a forever-student at heart, especially of the Word of God. The last few years have included a 160+ lbs weightloss, and a complete re-working of her "inner man" as she has had to journey from merely what she "knew" to putting that into "ACTION" .. a transformation that so rocked her core, she believes God's calling in her life includes a sense of "urgency," as the body of Christ is fully - knowingly or unknowingly - entrenched in These Last Days, just as Jesus prophesied. She has worked in various forms of professional Customer Service for nearly 20 years, from Mortgages and Banking to Automotive Plastics, and values most the opportunity to mediate and problem-solve. Leah has served over the years in varying roles, from Women's Bible Study Leader to Choir Director to Worship Leading to teaching Sunday School to working faithfully in the Nursery. She loves being a Wife and Aunt and Sister and Daughter and Friend, and loves to read just about anything she can put her hands on. She is always re-learning putting feet and muscle to these things, but she has learned there is incalculable value in "working the plan," and "being faithful with LITTLE so as to be entrusted with MUCH." And she is trusting her beloved God and Savior for the "much" yet to come. You can find more of her musings on her blogs at and, or follow her on Twitter at

Posted on July 11, 2012, in Personal and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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