Two Faced? ~ part 2
Not so much two-faced, rather more like broken-into-two-HALVES, I started this discussion concerning this kind of “imbalanced” maturity in my spirit, as if a zipper got jammed, and I can’t figure out how to untangle the teeth to get things back on track.
But I know there is revelation waiting for me, here. So I’m recording some of my considerations for the reasons listed in my below post, and to paint a picture for myself of what, God willing, will be a remarkable transformation. 😉 This isn’t a “coming of age” story; perhaps it could be considered an “overcoming past abuses” story ~ I’ll ellaborate on this perhaps in a future entry; but it most definitely is a God-sanctifies-his-children or God-brings-the-broken-to-wholeness story.
And I think I’m in good company – The Apostle Paul refers to himself in different places in his letters as “Not-I-but-sin,” in one respect (Romans 7), and “Not-I-but-Christ” in another (Galatians 2:20-21). So there is not a lot of surprise for ANY follower of Christ that we may have some measure of duality to our spirit this side of Glory. BUT, then again, James writes to the new church that a “double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” Easily tossed about. (James 1) And Paul also uses this imagery of being tossed about, and connects it to childishness, and being easily deceived…. (Ephesians 4:11-16)
Like waves crashing up against an un-anchored, bobbing mass in the sea ~
An un-captained, un-manned, a dead-weight, a directionless, unstable, ineffective mass
Waiting only to be capsized and sunk, or washed up on some remote island shore.
Washed up. Used up. Sunk.
We even use these images to evoke similar meaning for people who are otherwise Undone.
And WHO would be satisfied by ending up like THAT?! 😉
So, I’m presented with a bit of a paradox ~ to achieve wholeness (is this the same thing as being singleminded? or of single purpose?), I must ask God for wisdom and “believe and not doubt,” (returning to James 1), which means I am in some manner coming from a place of singlemindedness even in the asking.
That’s all right ~ I’m asking according to His PROMISE, not a mixed motive. I KNOW he wants to heal me (Jeremiah 17); I just don’t yet know HOW. Or how long this will take. Put another way? My wholeness is hinged to HIS faithfulness, and therefore I have a confident expectation.
A hint of the remedy? Also “hidden” in the above referenced passages:
Delighting in the law (Word) of God in my inner being, Christ IN me
Gazing intently into the “perfect law that gives freedom” ~
and doing whatever HE says!
Doing my “part”, and building up his Body in love….
So I am confident we’ll see a measure of maturing as I noticeably continue to grow in love for God AND others, instead of operating from a position of such self-preservation, or self-defensiveness, or self-glorification (which all have at their root some measure of self-deception, and not seeing God as he really is ~ ie: some “idolatry” setting itself up over and above God in my heart).
Today? I am asking God for this one thing:
“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” (Psalm 27:4)
(Note, the whole of Psalm 27 may prove to be very much more relevant to this continuing reflection. I think, perhaps, I should memorize this chapter….)
TO BE CONTINUED: